Friday, August 13, 2004

Red Rover Red Rover Send Big Hooters Right Over

Nearly arrested today for pissing on the big rock in the middle of some Zen Garden. Public space here in Sapporo still feels somewhat... cat litter-y. Sandy. Much more fragrant when you scratch than in L.A.

Error compounded: I was so flustered from the police encounter and the puddle of piss in my shoe from when I freaked that I accidentally ordered a plate of three calf brains covered in various sauces for lunch at the Master Nimjo on Yungfang Wu. (I have no idea what I was thinking it would be. Definitely not a plate of brain, though.) Lesson learned: Don't order on an empty stomach with pee in your shoes.

But not all my decisions have been bad or moisty lately. Seems like I picked exactly the right hemisphere for a game of hide and seek with some chick. Though really, either hemisphere with her would have been fine: top OR bottom, if you know what I mean *wink wink*. Thanks for alerting me to the message you found on the tapped site:

The Kegger appears to have been returned to the brewery. I have fraternities tracking it, but it appears to have physically escaped from my porch.

Well, the Hooter girls may have grown boobs, but by my calculations, Sapporo is still boobie- and kegger-free.

Dammit!

Also: I emailed the Match.com matches I was sent, now that I'm in more wired country (not so many Wi-Fi spots along the Dingaling section of the Japanese islands). Picked one cute, blond girl claiming to be a shy, secretive type.

Will she finally show us the secret she found in her pants? Fingers crossed.

P.S. Major diarrhea ensued following the brain feast. The storm seems to have subsided some at this point, though there will probably be some major clean-up needed in the bathroom area. Seems like Mother Nature has it out for me this time around. Let's hope for better things and fewer bacteria when I hit the brothels. May be time to move to another country soon...