Friday, August 06, 2004

being persuaded to sober up

5% is a lot of alcoholic content to drink when you may have an alcohol problem.
More than 6 emails tell me you're still worried about me, too.

Hi Dan,
How are the Teacups in the Greatest Place on Earth? I hope you're enjoying your vacationbender... it must be because, in the back of your mind, you're wondering about the situation back home. (That's why you are checking your email, isn't it?)

Partly true. I was also interested in increasing my size, and was sort of looking forward to a money investment from Nigeria.

You can't stumble around... and we can't laugh when you do. It knows our names, our lager preferences, it's going to reach out and drink us under the table and guess what happens then? You'll have to drink more than Pink Ponies to get away from this one, Dan. When it oxidizes, we're *all* going to have a good, long hangover.
There's hope here. There's someone trying to help here. But she's a phone call away, she knows how the program works but, my main man, she's only been sober herself for just over three weeks. Aren't you intrigued? The Anonymous want you in their community centre. The bottle wants you drunk. You're our last fifth of whiskey. One more pull and we get a huge buzz.

I... can't say I hear you. What are you trying to say, exactly?


The table is above you. Now, we need *you* sober. If this thing spreads ...who can guess what frivolity and general good times might occur? And yikes!... It's got my email address... a possible window into my social life ??!?!... and into *all* the social lives of people who only wanted to stay indoors and help you through your difficult time. Help us help you, Dan....... I hope you are able to read this.

I'm reading it. I'm also digging the pink fuzzy bunny border you have on this HTML email. Wait...this isn't an HTML email!

I was scared to be sober but if we're in it together, well...I'd rather be sober in company (and drink myself stoopid behind your backs).

So, I'm back in: as cuddly as Spuds Mackenzie and as charming as the Coors Light twins, from a soaphouse in Rappongi.

In the meantime I will be drinking as often as I can and wait the nerve-wracking, tedious wait with you until whatever may or may not happen on the 24th.

P.S. I can't believe that this hot chick has the same web design as my Uncle Marc; what are the odds? Thank you, "Dana."