Tuesday, July 27, 2004

emergency exit sign i stole from my frat house in '96

It drank me under the table. It pwns me now.

- seen and totally blitzed. I'm not sorry, you unsympathetic bastiches. I'm going to Disney World - Sapporo style.

I think maybe you clicked the link over here of your own free will. Yes, you did. But forget about it. It's like you had a good buzz going, but I fig the honeymoon's over now, and sober, I see the total wicked error of my ways.

I don't want www.ilovebeer.org to be my problem anymore.

And if you think for one second that it's going to be your problem, well I think you'd better just go outside and get some fresh air and stuff. HELLO BIG BLUE ROOM HELLOOOOOOO! You think it's easy, waking up in the morning, hungover like hell, wearing a lacy pink Hanes Her Way bra and wondering what the hell happened last night? Cryptic messages written on my ass, face, and chest, until I figured out they were just backwards in the mirror? I have a sudden craving for cheese curds. I need to get away from myself, maybe ride some water slides, take in a wax museum, something, anything. (And you can stop trying to hack into my email for porn passwords, and YOU, Mark, for fucking taking the mags out of my mailbox in the lobby, and searching for the "special" beer recipes - they're not on the website, you nimrods! GOD!!! the secret ingredients are just that!! INGREDIENTS!!!... good gravy.)

Domo Arigato Mister Roboto, everyone. Thanks for nothing, unless you've got an aspirin handy.

I'm done. Stick a fork in me.