Tuesday, July 20, 2004

August 24

Aug 24, 1995 Microsoft breaks world record for single day beer consumption in a single company.
*
I went hiking to the 7/11 in Claremont Canyon yesterday to get drunk and find some sheep. Six beers, three hours, one mile, and a 10ft elevation change onto a large rock for sheep scouting later, I was hammered, sweaty, sunburnt, without Bessy and still fixated on the damn website bug and its stupid ass countdown. This is totally gonna screw my life up. I hate buying beer at retail! While up there, chipped my tooth removing a bottle cap. Drank most of the fresh 12 on the way back. Need to work out so I can carry more.

*

Aug 24, 1914 Germany occupies Belgium. Belgiques grateful that they finally have a chance to drink decent beer.
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I'll never forget my first Belgian beer. They should stick to making chocolate. Who wants wheat floaties in their beverage?

*

Aug 24, 1853 Potato chip invented. Pub patrons rejoice and drink more beer to counteract sobering effect of carbohydrates.
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You know the special dates that mean something to you, but not everyone else? (For me, April 4th will always be the day I got called to the Vice Principal's office for having beer in my locker. I think it's because he taunted me by confiscating it and drinking it while I watched. Asshole.)

*

Aug 24, 4000 BC Beer invented by slaves on a Nile plantation. Recipe presented to Pharaoh as wedding gift. Pharoah starts construction of world's largest beer vault at Giza. Vault, suprisingly, never filled. Pharoah develops large gut.
*
I love a good story.

*

Tuesday, August 24, 2004
*
(drinks a beer to blotto all thoughts of website problem.)

Time for some updates:

Uncle Marc wants you to know how touched he is by the flood of support we've gotten on this blog and via email. So touched that he wants to mix a new batch of beer in honor of you guys — he's thinking of sweetening it with Saccharin, but I'm not sure he knows what to call it yet.

Warm fuzzies aside... the hijacked countdown has definitely gotten under Unk M's skin. "Strong blackberry aftertaste" "sobers him right up" (his words. I don't believe him due to the slurring.). He asked me if "the medium will oxidize" means that his yeast vat is going to explode. I'm pretty sure it doesn't, but unfortunately for now, I don't have a more optimistic interpretation to offer him.

28 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

hi

August 2, 2004 at 3:57 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

OMG You are SOOOOOO hot! I'll be your sheep! Baaaaaaaa!

SO HOT

August 2, 2004 at 7:36 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dude, you SUCK!!!!!!!! You promised me you were clean and now I HAVE THE F'ING CLAP! YOU SUCK!! YOU SUCK!! YOU SUCK!! YOU SUCK!! YOU SUCK!! YOU SUCK!! YOU SUCK!! YOU SUCK!! YOU SUCK!! YOU SUCK!! YOU SUCK!! YOU SUCK!! YOU SUCK!! YOU SUCK!! YOU SUCK!! YOU SUCK!! YOU SUCK!! YOU SUCK!! YOU SUCK!! Oh, and your dick IS SMALL and you were WAY to fast. Quit stroking it so much. - Aschleee P.

August 2, 2004 at 7:41 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

August 2, 2004 at 7:48 AM  
Blogger Dan said...

Asschleee, YOU suck! I was with Dan the other night and it was actually VERY BIG! You must just be all stretched out like old pantyhose! GET A LIFE!

-Nicole Kidman

August 2, 2004 at 7:50 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

ppl, can we not swear, please? my mom won't let me on the computer if the profanity filter keeps getting triggered, and they're total fascists at the public library

August 2, 2004 at 8:27 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I pooped a cornish game hen!

August 2, 2004 at 8:52 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Man, I hate puzzles.

August 3, 2004 at 9:30 AM  
Blogger Neo said...

http://myweb.ecomplanet.com/DAVI4936/

Didn't your parents ever talk to you about the Beers and the Bees?

August 6, 2004 at 5:40 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

is this a real website???

August 8, 2004 at 3:46 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I hate whoever made this F**king sh*t because it just signifies you have no life, and stop trying to waste the lives of others

August 9, 2004 at 10:46 PM  
Blogger MrFlammable said...

NOVEMBER 9TH
ahhhhh too long to wait

August 16, 2004 at 9:50 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

halo 2 deom on august 24th?

August 17, 2004 at 9:28 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

MAYDAY MAYDAY MAYDAY

...Master Cheif is badly hurt. I don't think he'll make it alive

August 17, 2004 at 9:17 PM  
Blogger Neo said...

You fucking drunk idiot.
Find the audio NOW.

http://myweb.ecomplanet.com/DAVI4936

August 20, 2004 at 12:56 PM  
Blogger Neo said...

august 24, 2004:

hundreds of people put tons of work into the process of eventually locating and recieving a telephone call at a specific time, after a whole month of work on ilovebees.

to be rewarded with gay ass wav files.

The phones that weren't answered are all going to ring at the same time tomarrow.

I may like bees, but i LOVE beer:
http://myweb.ecomplanet.com/DAVI4936/

August 24, 2004 at 7:50 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

StinkyWeasalTeets says:
I don't think your happy enough....I'll teach you to be happy....I'll teach your grandmother to suck eggs.

P.S. I love beer, I hate bees, and I would kill for a copy of Halo 2.
Chow.

August 25, 2004 at 2:40 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

are the comments real, or are they memorex?

we may never know.

August 29, 2004 at 10:42 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dude.. posting a comment to make sure that this stuff isn't all done by a select few or computers. I bet most people who can read this (if it was posted) think that this is ALSO an auto-message.

September 7, 2004 at 6:49 PM  
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